Human Domination in Two Easy Steps
HIYA! SAVANNAH HERE!!
I bet’cha I have your attention now, don’t I?
The steps are actually very simple, unless you happen to be a woofie over about twenty pounds (nine kg)! I can’t demonstrate this process myself and you will see shortly why. I asked The Kid Sage (TKS) to step up and do the demo.
Here ya go—
First Step—step lightly onto your human’s lap (see, I can’t get to the first step—really a bummer). No eye contact to start. Be sure to snuggle up close to their body and spend a bit of time arranging your front paws for maximum “cuteness”. Adopt a relaxed, serene pose and stare off into space as though you have much on your mind.
Second step—Let me warn you, don’t try this on your human’s lap unless you have practiced this technique in front of a mirror. This is the crucial step to achieve human domination, and you will get only one chance to get this right.
After you have been on the lap long enough to allow the human to feel your warmth, maybe even the soft rumble of your purr, then when you feel you have the human in a state of bliss—turn your head slowly, tilt upward toward your human. NOW make direct eye contact, and show your adoration of your human with a look, you know the look, and the human will be dominated for the rest of the day. You will receive anything you want. Trust me.
My thanks to TKS for the demo, she does it better than I do. Well, of course I can do the “look” part, I just don’t do the “sit on the lap” part. Which, I must say, is very important to lasting domination. Hope this helps you. Let me know if you have that “look” in your tool kit for managing your humans.