The Kid Sage | Savannah's Paw Tracks

Archive for the tag “The Kid Sage”

11 Apr 2016

Human Domination in Two Easy Steps

HIYA! SAVANNAH HERE!!

I bet’cha I have your attention now, don’t I?

The steps are actually very simple, unless you happen to be a woofie over about twenty pounds (nine kg)! I can’t demonstrate this process myself and you will see shortly why. I asked The Kid Sage (TKS) to step up and do the demo.

Here ya go—

First Step—step lightly onto your human’s lap (see, I can’t get to the first step—really a bummer). No eye contact to start. Be sure to snuggle up close to their body and spend a bit of time arranging your front paws for maximum “cuteness”. Adopt a relaxed, serene pose and stare off into space as though you have much on your mind.

*sigh* So relaxing, so much to think about—

Second step—Let me warn you, don’t try this on your human’s lap unless you have practiced this technique in front of a mirror. This is the crucial step to achieve human domination, and you will get only one chance to get this right.

After you have been on the lap long enough to allow the human to feel your warmth, maybe even the soft rumble of your purr, then when you feel you have the human in a state of bliss—turn your head slowly, tilt upward toward your human. NOW make direct eye contact, and show your adoration of your human with a look, you know the look, and the human will be dominated for the rest of the day. You will receive anything you want. Trust me.

You have dominated the human—score one for cats!

You are the most special human in my whole life—I love you

My thanks to TKS for the demo, she does it better than I do. Well, of course I can do the “look” part, I just don’t do the “sit on the lap” part. Which, I must say, is very important to lasting domination. Hope this helps you. Let me know if you have that “look” in your tool kit for managing your humans.

PAW PATS, SAVANNAH

Posted in Cat's Rule and tagged cat domination, CAT GAME, The Kid Sage

28 Mar 2016

28 Comments

Paw Painting with a Schmousie

HIYA! SAVANNAH HERE!!!

As my long time readers know, I have posted my “Savannah’s Art” before. Unfortunately, Mom L deleted those photos and so I cannot send you to that blog post. But, thankfully, I, Savannah the Brainiac Cat can at least share the final paintings with you.

My 2013 Collection

And—

My earlier work in 2013

Mom L was, unfortunately, not satisfied with my earlier works and so decided to give TKS an opportunity to see what she could do. The canvas is an iPad and the game is an iTunes App. So let me hear in comments how well you think TKS did with her first attempt at extemporaneous early art form.

I see you little schmousie

And I know I need to test your ability to escape my Paw Power of Color (PPC).

*tap, tap, tap*

Awww, now I know how to make you paint for me.

Gotcha!! *sqquuueeek*

And now I wait—

You will be mine schmousie

Again, GOTCHA!!

You will leave a red splash on my painting

See, I told you TKS is a masterful hunter of the colorful schmousie—

Come on schmousie, come back to my Paw Color Power

TKS , you have to give it to her, she has patience.

*whap* Gotcha!!

There you go, TKS is on it—she is gonna make the best ever Power of the Paw painting.

DONE!! PURRFECTO!!!

And there you have it, TKS has introduced her first ever Power of the Paw painting, Schmousie Hunting edition Number One. You will have to get your order in early to be able to grab even a signed print of this exquisite work.

PAW PATS, SAVANNAH

HEAD BONKS, THE KID SAGE

Posted in Sage's Life Experiences and tagged cat humor, cat photo, The Kid Sage

25 Mar 2016

29 Comments

Occupation Means Nine Tenths of Possession

HIYA! SAVANNAH HERE!!

All I can say is that after the Battle Over Mom L’s Body last night, she will probably never let Dad P leave the house again at night.

Let me explain. You see, after the humans eat their dinner, then we all gather in the living room for TV time and whatnot. I get on the couch with Mom L. That is MY space as is Mom L MY human body to cuddle with. Dad P sits in his recliner chair with the foot stool up and The Kid Sage (TKS) get on a fleece blankie next to his body and he is HER human body to cuddle with.

The problem, as I am certain you can already see, is that we each have our OWN human body for snuggling and getting pets and attention at night. When there is one less human body, well then there is a bit of a vacuum when it comes to snuggle space.

Dad P went to one of his community volunteer thingies last night so I had Mom L all to myself. She just needed to focus on ME, ME, ME. Ya might wanna know that I hide my thoughts inside the photo so you have to hover your schmousie over the photos to view what I am thinking.

Just waiting for Mom L to get settled

You ready for me Mom L??

So the night was shaping up just fine for me. But poor little TKS was left all alone, no human body to call her own and just her ~~pitiful~~ warm fleece blankie to snuggle with.

Where is my Dad P?

oh yeah, and I have to offer some apologies cuz all Mom L and I had to capture this whole fiasco of a battle was the smartie phone camera.

Moving along, I turned my back to rest my eyes and next time I look over at Mom L, guess what I see?

Oh Cat! I so hope Savvy doesn’t notice me snuggled next to Mom L’s leg.

Yep, you are so right. TKS had slithered up on the opposite side of Mom L to get some snugglin’ and human body contact.

heh—heh—heh Bet Savvy doesn’t know I am here

As if I wouldn’t NOTICE her hugging my human! This was going to be the age old Possession Is Nine Tenths of The Law battle.

AHA! Caught you TKS! Stealing Mom L from me!

I simple could not believe what I was seeing. I had to take a moment and step away just to collect my thoughts about what the heck I was gonna do about this situation.

Seriously Mom L? Are you really gonna let her stay there?!

Once Mom L saw the look on my face, she took action and placed a 911 call to Dad P and advised him to step it up getting home or else he’d be on litter box duty forever! (not that he isn’t the primary scooper already).

And now you may be wondering who did get nine tenths of possession and claim Mom L’s body as their very own???